Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday (SFFSat) is a place where a bunch of us post snippets from our written works and also shoot the breeze a little. And before I get ahead of myself, thanks and appreciation as always to those who stop by and leave fantastic comments.
The story is about a young woman, Ranger Serafina Derwynde, who works for the Acquisition Guild - an agency that procures and retrieves items of historical and human interest. Sort of like an official scavenging agency...with training and university studies specifically targeted to such items of interest and their historical background. Not to mention ways and means to successfully procure them - by whatever means (force) necessary.
It just so happens that Serafina stumbles across a hulking generation ship - one thought to have been lost for millennia. (By now you've probably guessed that it's set way into the future...way way...)
The following is the very first opening lines in the tale...
“Come again?” Serafina Derwynde
scratched her head and leaned back in the pilot seat.
“Shida Class, Generation Model,
DS-057,” the onboard AI repeated, pitching its masculine tone to sound mildly
irritated.
To the best of Serafina’s
knowledge and remembered history lessons, Shida Class generation ships no
longer existed—at least, not since the Migration, two thousand nine hundred and
eighty-six years ago. A find like this would set her up for life, not to
mention the fame it would bring.
“Are you sure, Bertram?” A
quiver of excitement raced through Serafina; she envisioned early retirement
and a brand new ship with a new artificial intelligence interface—one without
attitude. Maybe a small outpost station to call her own. “Run it again.”
Cheers!
This is a really intriguing concept. I'm wondering... does "acquisition" of historical artifacts require time travel???
ReplyDeleteThat would be cool. But, alas, no time travelling in this one... Thanks!
DeleteLol. But I love the AI interface's attitude.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling she might not get the new ship she wants, so he might stick around ... :)
You think! Haha, thanks!
DeleteI think this is a really good start! It has my interest piqued to read on! I like the AI attitude bits, and we also get a nice image of Serafina's character in just a few short paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteMore, please! I'm excited to read more!
Cool. Thank you!! Glad you liked.
DeleteAnything that looks like a free lunch often carries a hidden price tag. Will be interested to see what comes from this. :)
ReplyDeleteI know, right! I'm motivated by these comments to make some more notes on the plot. Thanks!!
DeleteAston sez: Beware of stranded ships that seem like a great meal ticket...and of course, always believe your ship's computer. :-P
ReplyDeleteAnd Aston is oh so right! I have a feeling Serafina will come to love her computer...just saying. ;D
DeleteLike Aston, Anna knows from experience about finding something too good to be true. There's always something to muck things up. As for a computer with an attitude, that's another story.
ReplyDeleteTitle suggestion: Lost Legacy
You're right on that! Can I say Anna's original computer inspired 'Bertram' to be born? That's a cool title. I shall put that in my list for sure! Thanks!
DeleteIt really does what you expect in an opening and gives us a solid feel for where the story is heading (or at least where we're expecting it to head). Great set up. For some reason, I really like the name Bertram for the AI and the banter is great, especially since she's already thinking about how to replace Bertram - I suspect he'll be around awhile. Cool concept - as time passes on - the amount of antiques and treasures keep amassing.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! And yes, I suspect the same thing about Bertram. Hee hee!
DeleteI always thought "acquisition" was an awesome word, so I suggest a title including that, as it is relative to the book. Now, what with that? I've no idea. :) These are great opening lines. We've got a great feel for the world, the character and an introduction to an AI with quirk--always great. We're immediately interested as the action has already started.
ReplyDeleteOh, cool. Thank you!! Yeh, I've always loved that word too. I'll take your title suggestion to consideration as well...has a nice ring to it.
DeleteSounds like the profit motive is alive and well.
ReplyDeleteThat's for sure! Time never does change the need to 'acquire' things... ;P
DeleteA computer with an attitude. A very old generation ship.
ReplyDeleteWhat could *possibly* go wrong? :)
Great beginning!
What COULD indeed! Thanks!!
DeleteI'm really interested to see where this goes. I could definitely see this as a series. Interesting set up and character interaction.
ReplyDeletealso for a title I would go for 'Relic Ranger'or 'Scavangress'