Friday 17 February 2012

SFF Saturday - Feb 18

Still with the WIPs...I bring you a snippet from my current work in progress, Bengaria's War. This is a story set way into the future, where man has colonized star systems, wages war to steal other Systems, grow cabbages and sword fight, shoot energy guns and fly Nezu-class warships...while drinking tea.

The tale centres around, Ryn Bengaria, the daughter of a farmer who finds herself married to a King and at the brink of war as the evil Regent Sibur tries to steal their System.  Along the way, they encounter the Nezu colony.

In this scene, we once again meet Commander Thrater from the infamous Nezu colony.  Ryn and her former weapons master, Bur'et, now her advisor, have boarded Thrater's ship for an informal meeting...

But, Thrater admitted as he watched, unless he was mistaken, Bur’et had managed to capture Ryn’s capricious attention.  It made him feel like a brutish ogre in comparison.  Perhaps their first meeting didn’t go as well as he’d imagined it would.  Perhaps pretending to be a brutish ogre like their legend suggested might not have been the ideal way to go.  Social decorum with outsiders was truly confusing—they seemed highly offended with touching.  Did they not know that a mere touch was enough to relay a multitude of questions and answers, which the mouth was incapable of speaking?  Ah, her mouth, it had been simply too irresistible to ignore…to sample.


If you're interested in participating in next week's SFF Saturday, stop by their sign-up blog which is open every Wednesdays.  And don't forget to follow the rules and use the #SFFSat hashtag.

Cheers!

18 comments:

  1. Love the last line of this one...great work!

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  2. Excellent. Neat character, and another loaded snippet. I'm looking forward to the beta.

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  3. I love "her capricious attention" in three words you say so much about how he feels about her and what he thinks of her.

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  4. You had me at 'tea.'

    I loved how you made let body language and cultural traditions tell part of the story. Nicely done.

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  5. Wonderful word choice, leading to open-ended description. I agree with all the comments above! Well done.

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  6. I love the brutish ogre reference and the mixture of thoughts throughout the snippet. Great job!

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  7. Oooh...I got the tinglies reading this one!

    "Ah, her mouth, it had been simply too irresistible to ignore…to sample."

    Sexy. I was ready for more! :)

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  8. I agree with Heidi Ruby Miller. That last sentence was steamy!

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  9. Thanks everyone. I have to admit, I do love the Nezu - they make for interesting writing. Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. Oooh, methinks someone has a crush! Great snippet!

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  11. I'll admit, I couldn't decide if he meant kissing her or eating her. Either way, I want to read more.

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  12. Kissing her, interesting. He thinks things were confusing before? Lol

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  13. Yes, intercultural differences can lead to major misunderstandings.

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  14. I'd have to go with kissing rather than eating. At least, that was the intent I read in the snippet.

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  15. Oooh! That is good. As always, you are a very gifted writer. Love your character name, world building, all of it!

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  16. Uh oh - sounds like Thrater's got it bad ... tons of information in here - great stuff.

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  17. Thanks everyone for stopping by. Loving your comments - give me hope that this WIP is gonna be a good one!

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  18. Um, I guess he should have read up on etiquette before going with the brutish ogre thing. :-P

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