Monday 26 October 2009

Gazing At The Ceiling

October is nearly done and I am still waiting patiently in a state of limbo. And, as things in limbo usually go, I find myself once again with an utterly blank mind.

Book three, The Eternal Knot, is complete only in my head - in various bulleted points. It's the in-between fillers that has me stumped. I am precisely halfway through, and being in that position is a lot like being in limbo: you are neither here nor there. And I think the main reason is that in the back of my mind, I'm still wondering what Book One - The Lancaster Rule - is up to.

Yes, it is still with the editor's being hacked to pieces (only in my imagination, of course...I hope) and its like waiting for a condemning verdict to be announced. All other thoughts get pushed out the way as you try your best to ignore the inevitable. At some point soon, I will hear from Them and I will no doubt be spending the majority of my time carefully combing through my manuscript with growing angst as I bend to their to speak. I am being dramatic of course, but with nothing else to think about or work on constructively, the imagination is allowed to roam free with varying scenarios of doom.

Being a fastidious perfectionist doesn't help matters either. Knowing there's unfinished business to be dealt with seems to only add to the havoc caused by my lack of inspiration. It's like having your ass flapping in the wind when you've got a few more rungs to climb before you get to the top - its very distracting. Hence the reason for my sitting for hours in front the computer either playing one senseless game after another or gazing hopelessly at the ceiling looking for some scrap of inspiration. So far, I've discovered a secret stash of cobwebs, a few cracks I am sure were never there and that, yes, dust does seem to exist between the cracks in the wooden slats - upside-down. Amazing. Oh, and flies love to poo practically everywhere!

And then, another day passes and I start the whole process all over again tomorrow. What a stressful life I lead...

Try not to laugh too hard to that last comment.

What is even more distracting is that once my editing process is complete and I move on to the next phase in my goal to become the next bestseller, I plan on submitting Book Two - The Master Key - and I'll have to go through the entire process all over again.

Oh, joy!

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